"When Elephants fight it is the grass that suffer?" Children's Agency in shaping Inter-parental relationship
Abstract
For longtime, the relationship between inter-parental relationship and
children was studied from unidirectional perspective and hence children
were viewed as passive victims of inter-parental conflicts. This also
seems to fit with the widely spoken proverb called “when elephants fight
it is the grass that suffers” (elephants represent the parents and the grass
for children). However, since recent time, the bidirectional approach has
been in use and accordingly children are viewed as active social actors.
Hence, this research was conducted within this context. Based on a
qualitative study with children between 11 and 15 years from Ethiopia
this study explores their role in shaping inter-parental relationship.
Informal talk, semi-structured interviews and story writings were used to
generate data.
The major findings of the study indicate that children are active
participants influencing inter-parental relationship. However, as there are
multiple factors that shape and reshape children’s role in inter-parental
relationship, children’s agency varies with context. Regardless of the
types and nature of strategies, children are active in shaping inter-parental
relationship. They however are not recognized and given the opportunity
to participate in family mediation process, which would have been
important in peace making process among parents. Instead, children are
still considered as the grass in the proverb above, while parents are the
elephants.